As i get deeper into my journey of meditation, i can't help but to realize that i am becoming more detached from society and people in general. I was always an introverted person, even way before i started meditation, i was pretty anti-social. When i first started meditation it gave me the confidence and desire to communicate with people in order to spread the joys of meditation.
Now it is becoming the complete opposite. I just lose interest in what people have to say unless it relates to the Buddhist teachings,Zen, Dreaming, etc.. I am becoming somewhat anti-social now and only want to talk to people that have similar interests. It's almost as if i have transcended all this pointless gossip everyone seems to be into. This detachment is a great feeling, but on the other hand it's not. I sometimes feel lonely or isolated from the world, as if i had no friends or nobody to talk to... the only choice i have is to meditate and detach from this feeling as well.
I dream of going into the mountains and being either completely alone or with fellow like-minded people. I find it hard to practice Buddhism in modern day society. There are too many distractions and too many useless things that i have already detached from, yet almost all the people from society care for these things. That's where i think this feeling of isolation is coming from. I want to be alone somewhere so that i could continue my spiritual journey...yet i am stuck in this place and have nowhere to go so that i can freely practice for days on end.
There is a Zen center i go to, but i still find it not to be enough. I don't want to spend a couple of hours in the mountains with other Buddhist practitioners. Eventually the meditation session or mass is over and i have to go back home to society. I don't want to completely escape society, i just want to stay in the Zen center for days on end. This would give me the ability to deepen my practices without any disturbances.
I'm sure this feeling will pass... but i am positive it will keep returning again and again in the future until i finally leave behind society for an extended period of time.
A little rant about what i am experiencing recently! Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts!